Attention Men Over 40
My personal ‘new’ study indicates that your dick probably isn’t shrinking after all.
I have made the following pledge to myself and both of my readers.
I will not lie to you. I will shoot from the hip and keep it as real as I can. I will assume that we aren’t that different after all.
And, if we are then I suppose I will have one less reader. It’s a chance that my drunken integrity requires that I take. Now I know this isn’t much of a pledge as far as pledges go but ‘it is what it is’.
Ok enough bullshit lets get down too it.
I’m going to admit that as I shave after getting out of the shower I usually do it butt naked. Further more I will admit that I do it to check myself out, and thirdly I will admit that I’m over 40 and what I’m looking at isn’t much to see.
If there is a 6 pack it is beneath a few inches of blubber. Not fat mind you but good old fashioned hard form fitting will always be there blubber. Kind of like a whale, walrus, or seal. To make matters worse there is body hair and one hell of a lot of it. My body is covered with hair except for my head which is as bald as a babies ass.
I remember being a much younger man and noticing the neat trail of dark hair that sprouted from beneath my navel to my pubic region. I was so damn proud of these hairs that I spent an entire summer shirtless.
I heard one of my buddies call it a happy trail and since this was the summer I discovered the joys of ‘jacking off’ it was a happy trail indeed.
Anyway this was one of the many things that I considered as I checked out 280+ lbs of weight and girth on a 6ft 1 n frame, in the mirror. I flexed my chest a little. It was still a chest and not complete man boobs yet, that’s a good sign. I flexed my arms and some muscle that has hung around for some reason stood up a little, and that was nice too.
My eyes wondered down a little further, and I frowned. How could this be? How can my cock be getting smaller? Now I want to be honest here and confess that it’s not like I was ever really blessed with a porno dick, I don’t consider myself huge but like I’ve told every lover I’ve ever gotten drunk enough to have me (before my wife whom loves me dearly) ‘I’m not trying to hurt anybody.’
I don’t make a habit of comparing, and I’ve never had a woman laugh at me or anything. I have even had some call it big. ( I’ve always been skeptical and actually suspected that this might be a white lie straight out of some how to be a great lover handbook that is passed around among college girls) but like the size of my hands feat or head it simply is my size and I’m comfortable with it.
The point is I have suspected from time to time that it may actually be shrinking.
About this time my wife calls me into the bedroom.
At this point I will tell you that our kids are grown and we live in child free environment. With this said we spend most evenings dressed comfortably. I usually wear my boxers and she normally wears one of my old T-shirts and a pair of panties. We don’t dress this way to turn each other on, but because we are comfortable with our bodies and love each other and it’s comfortable. We are both passionate people but at our age we control our hormones, they don’t control us, and our days of simply being ‘fuck monkeys’ are behind us.
So anyway she calls me into the bedroom. I am still naked. She’s very excited about a package she received from Victoria Secrets and wants to show me a pair of pink and white striped panties with a pretty lacy waste-band. I make appreciative sounds but even as I'm looking at the panties I’m thinking about that sweet little red haired pussy behind the panties.
I will admit this because there is something about pussy proximity that just effects me. I pride myself on control but, hey I’m just a guy, and I know the pussy is ‘right there’ Apparently she notices the glazing of my eyes because she gives me the pursing of the lips look that means ‘I will if you insist but I’m not really feeling it.’
She has a pile of new panties beside her in white and black and red. I can tell she would like to model them for me, but I can see in her eyes that it’s not going to happen. I know, that she knows, if I watch her take off and put on panties, it will be ‘on like donkey kong’.
So anyway I ask her. ‘Honestly honey, do you think my dick is shrinking?’
‘No.’ she answers in a tone that assures me that she is telling me the truth, and also suggests the question is ridiculous.
‘Honey I look at it in the mirror every time I shower and sometimes it looks to me like it’s smaller.’
Now, I want to tell my readers that my wife knows anatomy, and psychiatry, it’s how she makes her living.
‘It’s the balls.’ She answers as if everyone should know this.
‘What about them?’ I ask.
‘Well, the scrotum expands and retracts according to the temperature in the room. So when you get out of a hot shower the scrotum expands to cool your balls. Your dick hangs in front of your balls so when the balls lower your cock looks shorter by contrast.’
I simply smiled and returned to my business. One more mystery solved.
